To hyphenate last name or not?

I agree that this should not be an issue in 2015. If a man insisted I take his name, I would have some minor qualms about taking the man... but maybe that's just me.

Actually the OP's issue seems pretty contemporary, as she states that she wants to use her maiden name and her husband's name partly as she wants to share the name her kids will have, not because she is being asked or pressured to do it.

Her question seems to be, does she hyphenate the two names or not? If you really want people to consistently use both names, then I would use the hyphen. Lack of hyphen is more ambiguous, and would probably lead people to just use the second (husband's) name. The hyphen seems to be a way to kind of force people to include the maiden name.

Hillary Rodham Clinton translates as Mrs. Clinton, Secretary Clinton etc.

If she wanted Rodham to always be used, Hillary Rodham-Clinton would have been the better option.

I took my husband's last name, and although I think generations down the road hyphenated names could be very tricky, and it could drive future genealogists in the family a bit batty, I don't mind them a bit. In fact, from a purely personal/selfish perspective I just prefer that the kids have the same last name as the parents, or at least as the parent who I end up bumping into most often.

I am name-memory-challenged and have a much easier time remember the name of my kids' friends' parents when the last name is the same. I sort of back into the parents name in my head. If the kids have a different last name, I draw blanks and if I rarely see the parents I never remember their name and it is a little bit mortifying.

Example: That's Johnny Smith's mom. Smith....YES, her name is Jane Smith and her spouse is Ashley Smith. (big smile of achievement)

vs

That's Johnny Smith's mom. Rats! His mom kept her maiden name; what's her spouse's name again????? Meanwhile she comes up with a big smile and of course has no trouble remembering my name and I'm with a friend I need to introduce her to and have to apologize that I'm having trouble remembering her name. Again.

(small embarrassed smile and feeling like crap inside.)

Apple44, we have drifted in some different directions. I was not responding to the OP. I had already made a few contributions to this thread, IIRC. My latest post was in response to TigerLilly's post.

I get that, I just don't get the "It's 2015" comments. I kind of read TL's remarks as "Of course you can do what you want, but you're wrong." I don't think it was the intention, but it suggests the OP is out of touch. Her desire to use both names seems reasonable to me, even if it puts her in a minority.

What at least one friend did was take the two last names (one two syllables and one just onea) and combine them for the whole Family . John BrownMiller, Jane Brownmiller and little kiddies Brownmiller (not real names but just to visualize). Now what the correct last name is is not a problem. No hypen, no space.

@pdg when meeting new people I straight up tell them that I am horribly bad with names and to not take it personally if I can't recall theirs after meeting them ten times. It seems to help. :

When Michael Bloomberg's daughter, Emma, gave birth this spring, she and her husband, Chris Frissora, combined their surnames in naming Zelda Violet Frissberg. - NY Times

I wonder if that will become a verb - "they decided to frissberg their names."

Old news. "It's just a made-up moniker, but it is made up of our commitment to equality, with a nod to family history and a dash of out-of-the-box creativity. Most important, it is a name we share and will share with our potential offspring. To me there is no sound so sweet."

http://www.nytimes.com/2006/02/05/fashion/sundaystyles/05NAME.html?_r=0

apple44 said:
When Michael Bloomberg's daughter, Emma, gave birth this spring, she and her husband, Chris Frissora, combined their surnames in naming Zelda Violet Frissberg. - NY Times
I wonder if that will become a verb - "they decided to frissberg their names."

I would have liked "Bloomora" more. ;-)

Bottom line? People should do whatever makes them most happy and comfortable.

apple44 said:
When Michael Bloomberg's daughter, Emma, gave birth this spring, she and her husband, Chris Frissora, combined their surnames in naming Zelda Violet Frissberg. - NY Times
I wonder if that will become a verb - "they decided to frissberg their names."

Curious as to wether Emma and Chris also go by "Frissberg" or are there three last names in a three person household? Obviously, whatever they decide for themselves is fine but just curious.

LL_ said:

apple44 said:
When Michael Bloomberg's daughter, Emma, gave birth this spring, she and her husband, Chris Frissora, combined their surnames in naming Zelda Violet Frissberg. - NY Times
I wonder if that will become a verb - "they decided to frissberg their names."

Curious as to wether Emma and Chris also go by "Frissberg" or are there three last names in a three person household? Obviously, whatever they decide for themselves is fine but just curious.

"Most important, it is a name we share and will share with our potential offspring."

To me, that says they combined their names for their own personal use, and it will extend to any kids they have. Whole-family coverage.

PeggyC said:

LL_ said:

apple44 said:
When Michael Bloomberg's daughter, Emma, gave birth this spring, she and her husband, Chris Frissora, combined their surnames in naming Zelda Violet Frissberg. - NY Times
I wonder if that will become a verb - "they decided to frissberg their names."

Curious as to whether Emma and Chris also go by "Frissberg" or are there three last names in a three person household? Obviously, whatever they decide for themselves is fine but just curious.

"Most important, it is a name we share and will share with our potential offspring."
To me, that says they combined their names for their own personal use, and it will extend to any kids they have. Whole-family coverage.

I can't believe I am continuing with this Peggy but it says that combined their surnames in naming Zelda Violet Frissberg which leads me to believe that they kept their original surnames

Why do I even care??????

"Why do I even care??????"

Good question. I got nuthin'.

Some thoughts. We didn't hyphen our names when we got married for a couple of reasons: first my wife liked my name more than hers and second, my name is clunky and darn near un-hyphenable, but I was interested by the use of "maiden" names as middle names. In my family history, the "maiden" names became the middle names of children and grandchildren and lived on that way. I was named after my uncle on my dad's side, and the name everyone knows me by (where the "ridski" comes from) is actually my middle name, which was my great-grandmother's maiden name. So not only does her maiden name live on through me, but everyone except my mother and telemarketers actually call me by that name every day. It's pretty cool.

Second thought. When I was 13 I had a conversation with my older sister when I mentioned I probably wasn't going to get married and if I did, I probably wasn't going to have any kids, but I was very proud of my family name and wanted it to live on, so I guessed I would have to. She told me not to worry, and that if she was going to get married, it would be to a guy loved her enough to change his name to ours so her kids could carry on the family name.

Well, she met a guy, they fell in love and got married and she got him to change his name. Of course, she had 3 kids and they're all girls, so now THEY all have to find a guy/girl who will do the same thing and so the circle continues...

apple44 said:
I get that, I just don't get the "It's 2015" comments. I kind of read TL's remarks as "Of course you can do what you want, but you're wrong." I don't think it was the intention, but it suggests the OP is out of touch. Her desire to use both names seems reasonable to me, even if it puts her in a minority.

Oh dear, that's not what I meant.

I just think that when women say that they want to do this, they really mean that they're trying to satisfy everyone and do the "right" thing for "everyone" rather than it truly coming from a desire within to change their name. No one (outside of those with truly unfortunate names) goes through life waiting to change their name. They do it because of a sense of obligation. I just think most women give into too many obligations to what everyone else in their life wants. This is often masked in wording that seems like it's what they want to do....when it's really not.