Perimenopause: how do ya know???

I was gonna say...I found it a bit of a non-event. For me, the biggest sign was persistent thickening in the middle, that my usual exercise approaches wouldn't touch. I felt like I always looked 3 months pregnant until I stepped up the exercise etc. I don't recall any strange emotional swings, but then neither did I with menopause proper. I suspect this stuff varies a lot by woman, and what else is going on in your life.

Ah, and then there's vague facial hair to unexpected degree...

Just because your doctor said your thyroid levels are normal, that doesn't mean it's not your thyroid. A high normal TSH level can affect your female hormones but most primary care physicians, ob/gyns and REs don't know about this or accept this. Ask what your exact thyroid level was and if your TSH is over 2.5 and under 4, they will say it's normal but you may still have bad symptoms such as irregular cycles and distinct lack of sex drive. Once on thyroid medication you would feel like you got your life back. I'd recommend you ask what exactly your thyroid level was even if it is only to eliminate this as a possible cause.

Posted By: pippiSee, here's one of the issues:
I haven't decided 100% if I am done having kids. There I said it.
My husband thinks we've decided, but I am not ready to close that door yet.

This is not necessarily a great place to be, and I was there at 40. I had my first at 31 and my second at 37. I actually had to do a lot of negotiating for both!!! At 40 I started to think about a third. I brought it up, delicately, and after a bit of discussion, I understood that my husband felt it was a third child or him, you know, I couldn't have my cake and eat it too... Then I realized he was heavy into his mid-life crisis, and I just hadn't noticed, being caught up in baby for the past 3 years. So, my desire to make babies with him has not gone away, but I just look longingly at pregnant bellies and babies, and remind myself of how lucky I am to have two healthy and happy kids. I know it isn't going to happen for me, but I still get that feeling. He knows I get that feeling, most likely because it is probably in part hormonally driven (I actually get sexually charged!). It is important to find out where your husband stands. It might not change how you feel, but it is something that is important to respect.

Posted By: cynicalgirlpersistent thickening in the middle,

So it is not just all the food I ate while caring for some family members and while on the last trips? You guys are killing me! I am much deeper into "this" than I realized...and I am on the pill (a very light one; for my bones)!

Will the thick middle go away too?

All I can say is that if you do exercise, but step up the aerobic component a lot, it will. Just not as easily as you may have been used to prior. I had my one and only kid at 39, dropped the weight and re-took up exercise. Stopped for a bit, tried again at 42 and was kind of shocked by the way the same old routines just didn't do it.

My sister is 46, and I know that when she was going through this stuff, her big challenge was that she had always been rather effortlessly lean no matter what, without exericising. Peri-menopause did her in because she didn't know the "moves" for weight loss. Just seems like one's metabolism changes a bunch.

That said, I'm now 56, post menopause, and mostly watching what I eat and I had also had gallbladder removal. Somehow I'm staying a good weight (much less than I'd got to) without much exercise. Go figure. Freakin' metabolism and hormones.

For me walking, sunlight and lots of fresh produce seemed to help. My middle sides and back went down,
but that baby bump seems like its there for life. And...the teens don't help the situation with the palpations either.
Yoga is great for relaxation, too. You don't have to do it well, the deep breathing seems to do the trick.

And, try to think optimistically....feelings of dread are not fun either.

Glad those feelings of dread actually have a source. I was beginning to wonder.

And don't forget anemia brought on by heavy bleeding and cyclic irregularity. Exacerbates the feelings of breathlessness, light-headedness, fatigue, rapid heart rate etc. Yuck, sucks getting older!

I'm still waiting for the anxiety to go away, but that could have other causes, too. :wink:

The middle thing drives me crazy. I am in better aerobic shape than I was pre-kids. I ran my first half-marathon in November. I swim at least eight miles a week, run at least 10, and cycle when it's warmer. If I had the time to "step up" my exercise (on top of the job and two teens), I'd probably pass out from exhaustion. And STILL I would have to describe my middle as ill-defined. Weight will not come off no matter what. ARGH! Which leads to the whole where-do-I-shop issue. Don't even get me started on that.

Posted By: j rdescribe my middle as ill-defined.

:rolling::rolling::rolling::rolling:
You have such the way with words!

Posted By: karenoIt is important to find out where your husband stands. It might not change how you feel, but it is something that is important to respect.

There are lots of variables that make having another kid impossible right now, whether I want to or not. I like to think in a year or two, maybe we'd be ready. That being said, it seems like a moot point of menopause gets in the way.

:sad:

my digestive issues definitely started with these hormonal shifts ...

Oh thanks, mmm, so fun.

That's it. I'm clearly perimenopausal. Or I guess in my case, periwomenopausal.

not funny Tom.

Posted By: SlyFoxy1is what I call " seeing red"

Yeah I think this happened to me this weekend. I shrieked "Turn the music it off! It is SOOO annoying!" to my entire family while they were blasting the Beatles ans cleaning on Saturday morning. I was truly surprised at how quickly I reached my breaking point and it was all about the Beatles?! (I have been tired of their music for the last 20 years.)

I get that way about James Taylor.

Posted By: cmaynardI get that way about James Taylor.

:clap::clap::clap:

And I, about the Grateful Dead! Dated a guy in HS, for only a short time, who was a total Dead Head. That was all "The Dead" I needed to last me for a lifetime!

But I just can't see ever being tired of the Beatles!

Gee, after reading this thread, I'm beginning to wonder if my 'seeing red,' which became much worse in my mid-forties was perimenopause. That would make me feel a little better if it was. I took Zoloft for anxiety (still do) and it's helped but one of the biggest and quickest and most unexpected change was my lack of immediate ignition, which I really feel I had no control over. Counting, deep breathing, etc. didn't help. Hmmm...

Trust me...I am tired of them. I was tired of them in 1980.
To make things TRULY worse my husband thinks he is making things better by "switching" over to George Harrison, Wings, John Lennon and (God help us all) Yoko Ono albums. Day in and day out.

I have been permanently scarred.

I don't mind a little "Blackbird singing in the dead of night" or Julie Taymor's, Across the Universe. version of "I just saw a face" etc. but those are the only two I can think of that don't make me want to put my fist through a door.

Posted By: lisatI took Zoloft for anxiety (still do) and it's helped but one of the biggest and quickest and most unexpected change was my lack of immediate ignition, which I really feel I had no control over. Counting, deep breathing, etc. didn't help. Hmmm...

I bet you could attribute some (if not all) of this to perimenopause. Anxiety is a big thing. I also struggle with immediate reactions, feeling out of control, being easily frustrated etc.

Posted By: kmkTo make things TRULY worse my husband thinks he is making things better by "switching" over to ... (God help us all) Yoko Ono albums. .

Now there's just no good reason for that kind of action. Ever. He must have been TRYING to piss you off.

:wink:

Posted By: pippiI also struggle with immediate reactions, feeling out of control, being easily frustrated etc.

Have to admit this kind of thing did sneak up on me in my late 40s. I just thought my husband was getting WAY more annoying. :shamed:

Oh, and I actually thought Tom's comment WAS kinda funny. :tooth:

Posted By: PeggyCI just thought my husband was getting WAY more annoying

I am sure he was. *They* all do.
:wink:

Yes, but then he mysteriously got better again. That's the up side of being done with the whole business. :wink:

Posted By: PeggyCOh, and I actually thought Tom's comment WAS kinda funny.:tooth:

Thank you, PeggyC. siouxzee probably doesn't know the context. And if you and I think it's funny, it IS funny.