Lincoln Park Teen Sues Parents

Wonder how long before these attorneys sell this story?

So sad that this situation did not go through a mediator before going to court and out in public.

Sometimes tough love is the right solution and sometimes it leaves you wishing you had a relationship with your child ten years down the road. And it isn't really tough love if the parents legitimately cannot afford to pay for college or something like that.

I guess there IS more to this story. I don’t know what to think.

From USA Today

High school senior suing parents for college tuition
http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2014/03/03/student-sues-parents-college-tuition/5967279/

phenixrising said:

So sad that this situation did not go through a mediator before going to court and out in public.

Absolutely

The judge will most likely order a mediator to review and settle this dispute.

I am childless, so I am unfamiliar with how these things work.

pmartinezv said:

As a parent, my obligation to care for my offspring, legally, ends at 18yrs of age.

You think?

Morristown family law attorney Edward O’Donnell, who has represented public figures and a woman who sued former Pittsburgh Steeler Dave Meggett for child support, said social media has created the frenzy of interest, besides the unusual aspects of the case.

O’Donnell said that New Jersey case law does require parents who are financially capable to support their children and pay for college if the children are “within the sphere of parental influence” and are dependent on them for support.

http://www.app.com/article/20140304/NJNEWS10/303040065/NJ-student-suing-parents-draws-media-maelstrom

Most colleges will not accept an 18 year old with living parents as an "emancipated minor" when it comes to paying tuition.

Any one of my divorced uncles will gladly (and I do mean gladly) tell you all about how "that goddamned judge" made them pay the college tuition of their adult children.

RobB said:

Any one of my divorced uncles will gladly (and I do mean gladly) tell you all about how "that goddamned judge" made them pay the college tuition of their adult children.

I think it's different when it's part of a divorce.

I'm just sayin...if you want to hear all about it, stop by my parents place on Christmas Eve.

Any in the area? I'm not planning to hit Boston at Christmas. ;-)

My father used to think it was funny to tell his three teens that if we didn't want to abide by the family's rules, we could leave....but we had to leave the same way we came into the family - naked and with no money.

ParticleMan said:

Any in the area? I'm not planning to hit Boston at Christmas. ;-)

I could arrange a teleconference. My personal favorite is the uncle who was stuck paying child support to his ex-wife for all three kids until the youngest turned 22 (or maybe it was 23? 25? Who knows). The oldest was like 30 at that point.

sad on all levels as this will effect their relationship for a very long time, short sighted teenage decision making and all for what appears to be puppy love with a bad boy and teenage rebellion..I am sure there are many adults who would want to chat with this girl about decisions they made and regret at this age.....she just won't listen

Oldstone said:

I had a somewhat similar experience with my own parents. I was going to start college in Boston the September following my high school graduation. They refused to pay for me to live in Boston when I could commute and save the money. I refused to commute. They kicked me out, with tears in their eyes. I moved next door to my best friend's basement for the summer and then went on my way, all by myself, without anyone's help except scholarships. Worked while I went to school, paid for my own everything, tuition, apartment, everything. I never looked back. I guess that's not so easy these days. The times, they are different.

My husband had a similar situation, but not for the entire time of college. His parents said they would pay for college if he graduated in 4 years. When he learned that he needed an additional semester to graduate he asked his parents if he could stay an additional fall semester. They told him that they would pay for the credits, but only if they were taken that summer. He already had plans to travel on his own dime and it was his last summer before graduating so he said he wouldn't do it. In turn, they handed him all his student loans from the previous years and the bill for the fall semester and said he violated the "you must graduate in 4 years agreement" and they were no longer paying for any of his college. A deal was a deal to them. We paid the last bill on his student loan in October and did a big happy dance around the house. However, he said he would not have done anything differently - that summer of travel was life changing to him and he was happy to invest in his own education. I think his only regret was that if he knew he was going to have to pay for his own college tuition, he would have chosen some place different to go.....

If her parents are as toxic as she claims, then what she needs is emancipation and financial independence rather than continued financial support.

new207040 said:

sad on all levels as this will effect their relationship for a very long time, short sighted teenage decision making and all for what appears to be puppy love with a bad boy and teenage rebellion..

If you choose to have children, then one day you will have a teenager making short sighted decisions and teenage rebellion. Anyone who thinks otherwise is kidding themselves. Part of normal parenting is negotiating your way through this situation without throwing the kid out of the house for acting like what he/she is: a teenager.

I would bet this snowballed out of control, and was probably fueled by the friend's father. I bet the parents thought the girl would come to her senses, and the girl thought her parents were bluffing. Then when the friend's father got involved, so did the courts.

Not that it's all his fault. I just bet that neither the parents nor the daughter thought it would go this far.

new207040 said:

sad on all levels as this will effect their relationship for a very long time, short sighted teenage decision making and all for what appears to be puppy love with a bad boy and teenage rebellion..I am sure there are many adults who would want to chat with this girl about decisions they made and regret at this age.....she just won't listen

So, you completely cut off your relationship?

I dunno. I don't feel we can really know enough about the situation to judge, but I find it hard to imagine going to such extremes. The kid is (apparently) doing some things right (in terms of school and extracurricular activities and a desire to attend college). Completely cutting off the relationship seems very counterproductive to me. Of course, filing a lawsuit also seems extreme, so I'd guess this family needs a lot of help.

gibberellin said:

new207040 said:

sad on all levels as this will effect their relationship for a very long time, short sighted teenage decision making and all for what appears to be puppy love with a bad boy and teenage rebellion..

If you choose to have children, then one day you will have a teenager making short sighted decisions and teenage rebellion. Anyone who thinks otherwise is kidding themselves. Part of normal parenting is negotiating your way through this situation without throwing the kid out of the house for acting like what he/she is: a teenager.

You've said it much better than I did. Agree completely.

It sounds to me like just another victim of afluenza...

I am sure there are situations in which the right thing to do is kick the kid out of the house, but what I've seen in practice is parents lashing out in desperation rather than doing anything constructive.

And you have to remember that after being ejected from your household the kid is likely to go to the family of his/her friends or girlfriend/boyfriend, so in effect you have just made your problem someone else's problem.

Not cool.

pmartinezv said:

It sounds to me like just another victim of afluenza...

^ I was thinking the same thing ^

Teens will be rebellious and date people we don't approve of, but when will it become the norm for when not getting your way isn't working, you hire a lawyer? I don't understand why the neighbor is representing her and I don't understand why she choose this route -- maybe because of the neighbor? It's alleged that she is residing with them for the time being.

I saw this email in the Daily Mail UK. The Dad's email reads pretty reasonable to me, especially the counseling part.

mjh said:

Most colleges will not accept an 18 year old with living parents as an "emancipated minor" when it comes to paying tuition.

And at the same time they will not give the parents any information about thei child's grades because the child is legally an adult and they have to respect his right to privacy.

conandrob240 said:

Cutting off her high school funding is a little harsh regardless of what she did. Although 18, she is finishing her senior year in high school, for crying out loud. If I had a disagreement with my parents, nothing I could do would make them cut off high school tuition. Would they prefer she be a high-school drop-out and be even more of a financial burden in the future? She might very well have a case for compelling them to finish paying her high school. I don't think she has much leg to stand on for the college tuition though. Unless the funds for her college are in her name or specifically earmarked for her (529?)

No need for her to be a drop-out! There is this wonderful thing called Public School. Perhaps you've heard of it? I attended catholic school as well and I can bet you anything that if I said to my parents while I was in high school that I'm not going to listen to your rules, I'm an adult and I'm moving out that transferring out of catholic school would have been the next step! Seeing as my parents would tell me, and rightfully so, that if you are an adult you can pay your own bills. Catholic school would have been one of those bills as I was the one attending, not them.

Additionally, college is a privilege, not a right. Her parents earned and saved that money, not her. If she wants to go to college and have her parents agree to pay some or all of her expenses then she has to play by their rules. She is free not to do that but then her parents can also make the choice not to give her any financial support. She can get a job and take out loans just like millions of other kids whose parents would love to be able to pay for them to go to school but just can't afford to.

This brat wants to have her cake and eat it too! This is what happens when kids aren't told 'no' enough growing up. Monsters are created. This kid wants to make all the rules and have mommy and daddy blindly following along and paying. Reality will smack her in the head soon enough!

I wonder if the colleges that accepted her know what they are getting themselves into!?

pmartinezv said:

I am sorry but she has access to education at the public high school. Her parents are not 'required' to pay her private tuition. If they encountered financial hardship for whatever reason, rather than having a dispute, would you still be advocating that they must pay her tuition? No, she would simply enroll in the public system and finish there.

Personally, I think parents do too much for their childre and let them get away with everything (myself included). We need to teach kids that if you want to be treated with respect, you need to respect your parents and their rules. I got into a dispute with my parents while in college over money. They decided that since I was not being grateful for their assistance and 'demanded' more, I should learn to provide for my own education and related expenses. It was a very tough year, but I learn to take care of myself. Yes I worked 2 jobs and went to school full time. It was not fun, but I did it. It took me many years to pay off the student loans. I was upset at the situation initially, but it was not their obligation to to pay my way, particularly when my sister had just enrolled in college as well. I was selfish and childish and couldn't see past my own needs and failed to realize that they were in financial trouble and were having issues paying for two tuitions as it was. Sometimes parents have to use tough love to teach kids values.

Sadly, today too many see "respect" as meaning "you do what I want without question".

Getting a strong feeling that this young woman is the problem here. But this family doesn't belong in court; they need a really good therapist.

That email, wow.....does not sound like this woman has a particularly good case against anyone.

I kinda love the dad for saying "yolo."