Lincoln Park Teen Sues Parents

mammabear said:

And I think it's so sad that this thing has gotten SOOOO out of control. The family should have been in therapy, not a courtroom.

And for that, it seems like we can thank her friend's father. It seems that he helped push this into the courts.

tjohn said:

mammabear said:

And I think it's so sad that this thing has gotten SOOOO out of control. The family should have been in therapy, not a courtroom.

And for that, it seems like we can thank her friend's father. It seems that he helped push this into the courts.

+1. He not only embarrassed the parents, but her sisters included. Notice how the media ran with the story? Who approached the media? Let me guess…

And oh, he'll get reimbursed (the attorney's Father), by selling this story.

phenixrising said:

tjohn said:

mammabear said:

And I think it's so sad that this thing has gotten SOOOO out of control. The family should have been in therapy, not a courtroom.

And for that, it seems like we can thank her friend's father. It seems that he helped push this into the courts.

+1.

+2

Having kids isn't simple. They don't come with instruction manuals and nothing about parenting is ever black and white.

It made my NPR feed this morning
http://www.npr.org/blogs/thetwo-way/2014/03/04/285887838/teen-sues-parents-claiming-they-owe-her-money-for-college

I'm still not sure if they told her to leave or she walked out. Could have been as simple as "if you don't like it--leave" and she decided to call the bluff.

But I have plenty of judgement against the friend's father! Shame on him for not pushing mediation but going straight for the law suit. Guessing he doesn't do much mediation in his divorce cases. ;-) College acceptances are not set in stone--and their names are getting dragged through the news. I'm guessing this girl had no concept of the damage she could do to herself by filing this suit. Such a shame.

I agree with the parents on this one. No child of mine is going to tell me what to do. If a child wishes to come and go as they please, see someone that is obviously beneath them and be rude and disrespectful, then they may do so in their own pissy apartment and not in my home. A teen who is continuously spiteful and rigid makes a horrible family member. She has torn her family apart and for what? All of this could have been handled at home with mediation. I'm sure the neighbor opened the door for her to stay AND for this lawsuit. What's his deal?

Hopefully this won't be a temporary lesson for her but a lifetime lesson. She can't solve her problems by being bratty and demanding and she can't solve her problems by humiliating her parents in court. Unbeknownst to her, to colleges and future job prospects, she has now labeling herself as the girl who couldn't get her way and sued her parents in court. Not a good look.

phenixrising said:

tjohn said:

mammabear said:

And I think it's so sad that this thing has gotten SOOOO out of control. The family should have been in therapy, not a courtroom.

And for that, it seems like we can thank her friend's father. It seems that he helped push this into the courts.

+1. He not only embarrassed the parents, but her sisters included. Notice how the media ran with the story? Who approached the media? Let me guess…

And oh, he'll get reimbursed (the attorney's Father), by selling this story.

All of this. The family is being torn apart, and this guy is only fueling the fire. Believe me, nothing good can happen when some "friend" who is also an attorney gets anywhere near your kid.

I cannot imagine that these parents said, as soon as she turns 18, she's outta here! More like, they couldn't bear the strain her antics placed on the family, particularly the two younger sisters, and they had reached the end of their options.

In one of the scholarship letters my kid received, it was quite clearly stipulated that the scholarship would be granted with the expectation that kid would maintain, among other things, a certain standard of behavior and character. A story like this blasting all over the media would be reason enough to rescind said scholarship.

Not to mention that, unless she discovers a cure for AIDS or something, this will be the first Google result for her name, forever.

RobB said:

Not to mention that, unless she discovers a cure for AIDS or something, this will be the first Google result for her name, forever.

First through....two hundredth, most likely.

Interestingly, had any of this happened before she turned 18, her name would have had to have been kept out of it. It'll be pretty hard to shake this one.

mjh said:

It's nice to know people can have such absolute clarity in their judgments when it comes to the the complexity of humans and human relationships.

The daughter is the one who took this into the legal arena. At this point the issue is a legal one, and has little to do with "the complexity of...human relationships" , the judge's duty is not to explore such things, but to examine the facts that come before him,and rule on the law. The judge urged the family to seek counseling. If he seemed "judgmental" well, that is his job.

calliope said:

mjh said:

It's nice to know people can have such absolute clarity in their judgments when it comes to the the complexity of humans and human relationships.

The daughter is the one who took this into the legal arena. At this point the issue is a legal one, and has little to do with "the complexity of...human relationships" , the judge's duty is not to explore such things, but to examine the facts that come before him,and rule on the law. The judge urged the family to seek counseling. If he seemed "judgmental" well, that is his job.

Calli,

Back off, please. I made no comment about the judge and his ruling. I responded to the post about the Twitter-fest of gleeful judgment raining down on the family, mostly against the girl. Sorry if that wasn't clear.

The girl took this into the legal arena because she had either irresponsible or incompetent legal counsel. A good lawyer would have told her that this most likely wouldn't end well for her.

tjohn said:

The girl took this into the legal arena because she had either irresponsible or incompetent legal counsel. A good lawyer would have told her that this most likely wouldn't end well for her.

If he was able to set precedent with this suit, it could have been a huge boon to his practice.

gleeful judgment?

@mjh,
There was more anger, disappointment and sadness than glee, from this situation on social media.

When I was in high school, there were several kids who, upon senior year, decided that the grass was greener elsewhere and left home to stay with friends or their boyfriend/girlfriend. In one case, the mom was an alcoholic but in the others, it was mostly kids who got into a lot of trouble at school and partied too much. I specifically remember one case, and it was very similar. Girl from a blue collar, strict Catholic home left to stay with her boyfriend's family who was seriously dysfunctional. The type who hosted keg parties for the seniors and laughed at underage kids passed out on their sofa. My point is that it's not as earth shattering or unusual as it seems, or indicative of horrific parenting. The law suit is the millennials' extra touch!

My eye was caught by a sentence in one of the articles linked above, which said that the girl had been under treatment, including counseling and medication. That made me wonder if her behavior could be due to a bipolar disorder or something similar, or even something worse. I've seen firsthand what borderline personality disorder can do to a family and how difficult and wrenching it is for parents and siblings to handle it. There could be much, much more to this than any of us are seeing in the stories and emails.

As others have pointed out, the friend's father is most definitely to blame for pushing this into the legal system and media spotlight. Shame on him.

Tom_R said:

gonets said:

How did that email become public? The girl sounds like a brat, but if the parents released it, their behavior is pretty tacky too.

The e-mails posted above bear a signature in the lower left of each page of New Jersey Superior Court.

TomR

I believe the parents released a lot of detail because the daughter was making some horrible accusations against them.

marylago said:

tjohn said:

The girl took this into the legal arena because she had either irresponsible or incompetent legal counsel. A good lawyer would have told her that this most likely wouldn't end well for her.

If he was able to set precedent with this suit, it could have been a huge boon to his practice.

I'll stick with incompetent or irresponsible and will add unethical.

The strange thing to me about the lawsuit component of the story is that the friend's father wasn't even representing her. A completely separate law firm was doing so. So how would that be a boon to the friend's father's practice? But I still don't understand why he pushed the girl toward legal action.

PeggyC said:

My eye was caught by a sentence in one of the articles linked above, which said that the girl had been under treatment, including counseling and medication. That made me wonder if her behavior could be due to a bipolar disorder or something similar, or even something worse. I've seen firsthand what borderline personality disorder can do to a family and how difficult and wrenching it is for parents and siblings to handle it. There could be much, much more to this than any of us are seeing in the stories and emails.

As others have pointed out, the friend's father is most definitely to blame for pushing this into the legal system and media spotlight. Shame on him.

Per the article in the daily, she was being treated for eating disorders for which she was attending counceling and getting meds. It seems that she blamed it on her parents although the parents appear to have been supportive of her getting better. Who knows...

Bottom line: if you're going to kick your kid out of the house, make sure he/she doesn't end up living with a lawyer.








:-D

Who knows is right. What a mess. I also read in another article that her college fund is accessible to her now, so her parents have no idea why she is making a legal fuss about THAT. I don't know if anyone will ever know exactly what is going on in that family.

If I can find the statement I will post, but yesterday I read that the parents found trash bags of vomit in her room, I assume from her eating disorder. This girl has some issues and doesn't need to sue her parents but needs mental help.

I can think of about half a dozen kids I've known, or known of, over the years who were kicked out onto the street. Every single case involved drug use--not casual, occasional use but daily use and possibly dealing.

PeggyC said:

Who knows is right. What a mess. I also read in another article that her college fund is accessible to her now, so her parents have no idea why she is making a legal fuss about THAT. I don't know if anyone will ever know exactly what is going on in that family.

I only know who is wrong at this point - the adults who helped move this into the court system.

Time to get a job Buffy!!!!

High school can wait, college can wait. I would suggest sending her on a service trip to an impoverished country. Peace Corps or similar. She would get the hell out of Dodge and get her priorities straightened out.

tjohn said:

The girl took this into the legal arena because she had either irresponsible or incompetent legal counsel. A good lawyer would have told her that this most likely wouldn't end well for her.

And a good father - father of her best friend, so presumably a close family member - would have pushed the family toward mediation or therapy or something else. I cannot for the life of me imagine why he would get personally involved in this way.

Her name is misspelled in one of the quotes:

‘Between August and October 30, 2013, Rachel routinely (every weekend) would attend parties, become intoxicated, and seek approval from my husband and I.

‘On or about October 5, 2012, Rachel committed a theft on my credit card, which card was given to her for the purpose of purchasing presents for my husband’s birthday.’

Referencing another theft, she said: ‘During at incident in April 2011, Rachel stole $100 from my purse, snuck out of the house, at midnight, attended a party…. And returned home by taxi at 3.30am on a weeknight.’

Mrs Canning then went on to address her daughter's eating disorder in detail, saying she and her husband were not at fault. She said Rachel wanted to go on a diet in preparation for the prom in 2012.

Mrs Canning went on: 'Upon our return from vacation that year, I had realized that Reachel was more than "dieting". I went through Rachel's room and pulled out two extra-large garbage bags filled with vomit.'

She confronted her daughter who admitted it tearfully. 'During this time, I brought her to various therapists, who diagnosed her with anorexia and bulimia. I was and am her biggest supporter in trying to get her treated.

'I went through Rachel's room and pulled out two garbage bags filled with vomit... because of Rachel's eating disorders and my determination to get her healthy, Rachel developed hatred toward me'
-Elizabeth Cannings

via Daily Mail, UK

kibbegirl said:

If I can find the statement I will post, but yesterday I read that the parents found trash bags of vomit in her room, I assume from her eating disorder. This girl has some issues and doesn't need to sue her parents but needs mental help.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2573165/My-mom-called-porky-dad-got-drunk-told-I-just-daughter-Explosive-claims-spoiled-cheerleader-18-suing-parents-support-ran-away.html

She was being treated for multiple eating disorders per this article. She turned around and blame her mother as the root cause of the disorder.

TarheelsInNj said:

tjohn said:

The girl took this into the legal arena because she had either irresponsible or incompetent legal counsel. A good lawyer would have told her that this most likely wouldn't end well for her.

And a good father - father of her best friend, so presumably a close family member - would have pushed the family toward mediation or therapy or something else. I cannot for the life of me imagine why he would get personally involved in this way.

To a hammer, every problem looks like a nail. To a lawyer, every problem looks like a case.