Caretaking 102 - The Aftermath

No one can force you to bring him back. It is not a prison

I'm tempted. The same thought occurred to me.

Joan, that was my thought as well when reading your post.

Unfortunately I have first hand experience of what happens when seemingly small issues spiral out of control in someone with serious health condition.

In our case dehydration led to confusion, agitation, low oxygen level requiring patient to wear an oxygen mask but he was too confused and agitated. He would literally fight and pull all attachments off and hurt himself which escalated to the doctor calling us to say if relative does not calm down and cooperate they'll have to put him on ventilator but they can't guarantee that we'll be able to take him off due to age and medical condition. This all happened overnight after we left the relative in what we thought good care. He later told us that he was given ice water and he is only drinks warm water. He did not want to complain and no one really checked if he was actually drinking. This whole ordeal was one of the scariest moments of my life.

I hope you will be able to find a nursing arrangement that will make you feel safe and comfortable and allow you to bring your husband home tomorrow. Time is of essence. I wish I could help more. I hope I can at least help validate your feelings. You have good instincts, don't hesitate to act on them.

We don't know each other in real life but nonetheless I am thinking of you and wishing you strength.

bramzzoinks said:
No one can force you to bring him back. It is not a prison " src="//static.wwstf.com/common/plugins/redactor/emoticons/1.0/images/1.gif" unselectable="on">

But it may affect insurance liability if he leaves without being discharged. Speak to the social worker at the facility and advise that you want him out based on fear for his health and wellbeing. Ask S.W. for guidance on getting him placed at a different facility.

joan_crystal said:
He has a doctor's office visit tomorrow at the practice to which the surgeon who performed the operation belongs. I fully intend to voice my concerns at that time.

Excellent. I will be thinking of you both...

The doctor thought Bernie looked a lot better than he had in the hospital. Stents were removed from the stoma. OTC medication was prescribed for gas issues. Doctor wrote on notes that Bernie could be discharged as soon as he stronger below the waist. Work needs to be done on standing, walking, balance. Initial thought was to have in the facility for one week. I got the impression that doctor is not opposed to our bringing Bernie home on Saturday as long as he will be safe at home.

Zet: Bernie is making much more of an effort to drink liquids than he was previously. Like in your experience, he is brought ice chips rather than water. I have been filling cups of water for him whenever I visit.

Since I wanted to get Bernie settled when I brought him back and follow-up on a few things, I ended up walking home from the facility. It took just about an hour, including a stop at Target, really not too bad.

Joan, you and your family are in my prayers. I hope your doctor is able to positively intervene.

I'm glad for two things: medically, the doctor is satisfied things are going in the right direction. (I was secretly hoping for stronger written directions, I suspect the nursing staff only pay attention to those) and also, Joan, that you got a good long walk. That must have felt quite renewing, in a way, to use your physical strength and to work out your frustrations through the exercise.

Sending PVs, so the good work can continue!

{hug}

I'm delighted to read thenews that Bernie is doing better

Joan, so glad to read these very positive updates. Continue to take care of yourself, too.

In the taking care of one's self category, after years of following the weight loss theories with interest and toying with the idea of possibly joining weight watchers to shed a few unwanted pounds, during the course of this experience I have discovered an all natural diet plan that has lead to my shedding 15 pounds effortlessly in a matter of weeks. I call it the High Anxiety Diet.

I received a call from our primary care physician's office yesterday asking not how Bernie was doing but how I was coping with all this. What a wonderful, caring thing to do! The support that Bernie and I have been receiving from all quarters is absolutely amazing and we are both deeply grateful for it.

Wish we had a bunch-of-flowers emoticon: certainly deserved for that physician, and for you!! (And all the support team, helping with coordination, lifts etc)

Oh, how nice is that? I love that the doctor's office checked to see how you are doing. But be careful with that weight loss program.. You don't want to go too far!

I was on a similar plan after my divorce. Sadly, I got over it.

South Mountain just called to say that he has feces in his stool and he is being put on antibiotics. He is already receiving antibiotics or should be. The person on the phone could not explain if this was a different antibiotic or an additional one. The person also didn't know if he was receiving the probiotics agreed to at Wednesday's meeting. I am calling back now and demanding answers.

Nobody was available to take my call !?!?! On the plus side, it looks like they intend to discharge him on Saturday. Hopefully, they will still have someone to discharge by then. I am beyond angry. I demanded a call back before I leave for South Mountain at noon. I better receive that call!

Blood in the stool?

Maybe Cdiff, an infection often picked up in hospitals and one that would require a different antibiotic than the one he's receiving for the UTI.

Also, probiotics would not prevent a Cdiff infection.

Hang in there Joan.

Just got a call back from the Unit Manager. As I suspected, he now has two separate infections (bacteria was found in the stool), each of which requires a different antibiotic. So, he is now receiving two different antibiotics. Also confirmed that he is now receiving probiotics to balance out the effects of the antibiotics he is receiving.

Mjh: I know that probiotics would not have prevented the bacterial infection. However, they would help the body replace the good bacteria that is being killed off by what is now three courses of antibiotics within a short period of time. Unit manager did not know if he was getting the medication to control his gas issue. She said she would check the doctor's order from yesterday (which presumably was not read). On the plus side, she confirmed that he is scheduled to come home tomorrow.

I am so sorry that you and Bernie are having so many problems. The people I knew who went to this facility were in rehab after knee or hip replacements and I wasn't aware of these issues. I am sorry that I told you they had had good experiences while Bernie has been having so horrid a one. I would be furious, too, if I had a loved one who was getting what seems to be such shoddy care.

joan_crystal said:
Just got a call back from the Unit Manager. As I suspected, he now has two separate infections (bacteria was found in the stool), each of which requires a different antibiotic. So, he is now receiving two different antibiotics. Also confirmed that he is now receiving probiotics to balance out the effects of the antibiotics he is receiving.
Mjh: I know that probiotics would not have prevented the bacterial infection. However, they would help the body replace the good bacteria that is being killed off by what is now three courses of antibiotics within a short period of time. Unit manager did not know if he was getting the medication to control his gas issue. She said she would check the doctor's order from yesterday (which presumably was not read). On the plus side, she confirmed that he is scheduled to come home tomorrow.

Excellent, Joan. You are a wonderful advocate, but I'm so sorry it's been so stressful.

He will be ready for pick-up at 10:00 am tomorrow. Son is picking me up at 9:45 am so we can get him home ASAP.

Thank you so much for the dear person who went with me this afternoon to visit Bernie and whose conclusion was the same as mine that he would be better off home. I was there when the Physician's Assistant who works with the physical therapy team evaluated Bernie and found him to be in good general condition. We need to work on his spirit and combat the depression that has set in. If we can do that, everything else should fall into place.

Just got a call that a visiting nurse will be at the house tomorrow afternoon. Perfect timing.

there's a lot on Joan's plate right now, especially with Bernie coming home so quickly. I'd like to suggest that someone contact the Support Group to see about a suitable Buddy (discussed above) who can make contact and help with the mental adjustments Bernie's going through.

Naturally, they won't just turn up! Knowing there's a mentor who's already gone through it and is willing to just listen, and share tips, might be very helpful for both Bernie and Joan.

Joan -- back atcha, lady.

It was a great pleasure visiting Bernie and spending some time with you. He definitely benefits from your company -- even a little bickering gives him a boost!

I'm sure that, once he's home and comfortable and has a schedule in place (e.g. appropriate rest time), he'll enjoy visits from his large fan club. Meanwhile, as others have pointed out, it's equally important that you take care of yourself. Friends of Joan, now is the time to drop off little gifts and baked goods, make sure she gets out for a walk, even stroll with her to the phamacist. Let the healing begin!

Joanne: Thank you for your suggestion. However, Bernie is not one who would take well to a mentor. Better would be someone to sit and watch sports with him or just provide some added companionship. The last thing he needs right now is to dwell on the hospital and sub-acute care experience. More than anything else he needs others to remind him of how resilient and capable he is, even in recovery.

Deborah: Thank you so much. I'm not sure about the gifts - baked goods don't go well with his diabetes. Companionship at this point would be most welcome; though, it may be awhile before I feel comfortable leaving him alone while I go for a stroll. Let me see how he adjusts to being home and then we can talk about visitors and walking companions.

He is back home, much the worse for his week at he sub-acute care facility. He was so weak that he couldn't stand with the walker and fell entering the house. My son was there fortunately and helped get him up and on the commode. Whoever dressed him this morning neglected to put on his belt, so his pants fell down when he stood up which didn't help matters much. The person at the facility who phoned his medication in to the pharmacy told me that the pharmacy had both antibiotics that he needs to take but the pharmacist told my son that they only have one of them. They will need to get the other one. What happens if they don't get it in time since has to take it later today and we don't have a hard copy prescription? He was not still lying in bed when I arrived at the agreed to time to take him home. His breakfast tray was sitting where he had left it. I am totally fed up with the entire experience.

The visiting nurse left a message on the answering machine while we were picking him up saying that they will be unable to send anyone today. They have promised someone will call by 10 am tomorrow.

Joan, can possibly the doctor's office help with the prescription? It may not hurt to give them a call.

I am so sorry that you are going through this. Can't believe the visiting nurses can't find someone to come over to today. Hang in there.

Speak to the pharmacist and if they aren't able to get the antibiotic in today then ask what the script is (name of medication and strength). Then call other pharmacies and see who had it in stock. If/when you find another pharmacy that has the medication in stock ask the in stock pharmacy to call the original pharmacy to have that script transferred. This is a normal procedure, they will do the transfer over the phone so you won't need the hard copy. They shouldn't give you a hard time over it.

One thing to remember though, if the script has refills then the refills will now be at the new pharmacy

Pharmacy can transfer the prescription to any pharmacy that had the medicine available. thry should be able to call to other pharmacies to check availability

You did not deserve this. I am glad that you lost the 15 lbs. though, gee, I am a little jealous now that I think of it.