WWYD- terrible father?
Those kids need a good therapists. Parental rejection is a horrible thing to overcome. They are at risk.
Derm needs to issue letter stating that the flat warts are not contagious so father does not have any excuse not to include the 8 yr old.
And yes agree that that the "father" is not acting like one to his older children.
If you feel comfortable pulling him aside and telling him how devastated his son is, I think you're well within your rights. You are a consistent source of stability and love for these kids. My heart hurts for them whenever I read your posts. They're lucky to have you.
on a number of occasions, I’ve tried in a very calm and respectful way to tell both parents how their respective behaviors harm their children. With examples and offers of support. In the fathers case, I get screamed at and insulted. In the mother’s case, I get punished by not being able to see or talk to the kids.
Unless it was something serious or life-threatening, it seems insane to me to keep your own child from your home and his sibling.
Then again, the new wife has recently decided she wants no part of the older kids and refuses to be present when they come over. She even refused to come over for their Christmas visit two days before Christmas. Until this, they had liked her very much and are so hurt by this. All of this started because the oldest girl wasn’t warm & friendly enough on a recent visit. She was heads down in her phone and registered only a passing greeting upon seeing the stepmom. Stepmom doesn’t presently live in house with kids’ father. She is allergic to the house so she remains in her mothers house in her childhood bedroom (she’s 43). This is what happens when you marry someone 6 months after leaving your previous family and before your kids spent any time with her. She’s only been with them in tiny doses (and never alone) for past 2 years.
The 11 yr old girl has gone through diagnosis and treatment for severe depression earlier this year so it’s truly heartbreaking these people continue to hurt her. You’d think that a suicidal 11 yr old might give you pause to correct your behavior. But it just gets worse every day... and I am helpless to do anything. I had hoped the psychiatrist would see the craziness and recommend she be removed from the home but both parents put on a great show.
That is awful. These "parents" are children themselves and there isn't likely anything you can say that will change that. I would focus on supporting the children and being there for them to talk to and take every opportunity to tell them how wonderful they are.
the kids told me tonight that when the father takes them on Thursdays for dinner, the three of them share one Chinese food meal at the mall food court. A 5’6” 11 yr old, an almost 9 year old and an adult male. That’s their meal one night a week. Smh
what do you think of this?
Father has 8 yr old son and 11 yr old daughter from 1st marriage. He sees them 6 times a month (4x a month for a short 3 hr pick up, dinner, walk around the mall) and 2 Saturday nights a month with a 5pm pick up and keep overnight and all day Sunday. This father thinks he is incredible and that this is way more than most fathers see their kids. (I say, yes, when your comparison is a deadbeat dad, you are good). The kids have expressed over & over to me over a two year period how sad this arrangement makes them.
Now, 8 yr old son has some flat warts (diagnosed as such by 2 diff derms) on his neck so was told he is no longer allowed to sleep over at all and he’s not allowed to be around his father’s other (2 year) child. The 8 yr old is heartbroken.
The way these kids are treated makes me cry. I can’t do anything for them and it makes me so devastated for them. Other than hate him or tell him he’s a d$&! When I see him, what would you do?