When Okay for Children Be Left Alone?

BG9 said:

 Yes, I can see how trigger warnings are needed when some professor reads a poem, a story or in a play.  Oh, that horrible Shakespeare, that violence, the sex.So bullying and abusive.  

I’m not sure from this comment that you understand, when it comes to trigger warnings before readings, what the sources of the bullying and abuse are.

DaveSchmidt said:

sprout said:

I'm just curious how this was managed?  I was a city kid and usually took the subway.

FWIW, when my son started taking a city bus to and from school at age 10, it was a straight shot of a dozen blocks. The subway was swarmed with rowdier high school students.

OK... but @Robert_Casotto said he transferred buses at 7 years old. I'm just wondering how that was managed. Was it with other kids going to school, and the bus driver was more than happy to let the loud kids know when it was their stop so they got of the bus? But then 'unattended' doesn't seem the best descriptor if it's with a group going to the same location, or if the driver tends to let you know what to do.

Otherwise, I can only imagine that a 7-yr old traveling by themselves and needing to do transfers would have messed up at least once.

In my tweens I missed a number of subway stops as I learned the ins-and-outs of the system when I was going to places by myself and just had instructions (e.g., I didn't realize that "Times Sq" was the same as "42nd St" until the first time I missed getting off). But I was old enough to know that getting on the same train in the opposite direction would generally get me back from the next stop. And I knew the streets were in numerical order.

But it's not clear to me how a 7yr old traveling by themselves would manage if they missed their bus stop?

Easy.  Brother took me at 6.  By 7 on did it myself.  Really not that difficult.  Not the best area either.  But not the worst, I guess.  One of the reasons I am how I am.  For better or worse.

DaveSchmidt said:

Robert_Casotto said:
We used to take nyc city buses at 7 unaccompanied.

A.M. or P.M.?
Either way, well done.

Both. And That’s high praise.

Although there could be a backhanded insult that I’m missing.

Robert_Casotto said:

Although there could be a backhanded insult that I’m missing.

 That’s the kind of savvy you don’t get from hand-holding.

add a Catholic schoolboy uniform to the equation and let’s just say I’ve a had a don’t **** with me face since the Carter administration.

and a NASA-grade built in bulls hit detector.

in 1981, 6 year old Adam Walsh was left alone to play in a store....It wasn't safe to do then....just because people survived things in the 70s and 80s doesn't mean it was safe or appropriate....lack of proper supervision wasn't safe then and isn't safe now....so when people make the comment that they were out on their own at a young age just means they were lucky.

Steven Stayner was kidnapped On December 4, 1972

yeah what really did it was the E*t*an Patz situation, which changed everything.  Not for me of course, but for a lot of folks.

And in my case it wa’nt luck.  It was skill.

cubby said:

Robert_Casotto said:
We used to take nyc city buses at 7 unaccompanied.  often multiple buses.  it’s no wonder many kids today are incapable of independent thought.

 And did you also have a history of sever depression, self harm, playing with knives, fire and chain saws, not enough food, and a menatlly ill parent?

Severe Depression?  Only from Spring training 1979 through October 1996.

Self harm?  Only non-self harm.  I like myself too much.

playing with Knives, et. Al.?  Define “playing”.

Not enough Food?  It’s never enough.

Mentally ill Parent?  Who doesn’t.

I used to let my oldest stay home alone after school from 3 until 6-7 when I got in at age 10 in the early 2000s. Alternatively I have now have a 24 yo, his younger brother, now at home whom I wary to leave unattended more than 24 hours. It really depends on the child and no 1 set of rules can fit all.. 

the18thletter said:
I used to let my oldest stay home alone after school from 3 until 6-7 when I got in at age 10 in the early 2000s. Alternatively I have now have a 24 yo, his younger brother, now at home whom I wary to leave unattended more than 24 hours. It really depends on the child and no 1 set of rules can fit all.. 

 This!

In answer to the original post, in many cases a 12-year-old can be responsible for a younger sib, but not always.  It always depends on the kids and their maturity and relationship.

mi dispiace for taking over the thread.  But they asked me so many questions....

Robert_Casotto said:
add a Catholic schoolboy uniform to the equation and let’s just say I’ve a had a don’t **** with me face since the Carter administration.

Yes, yes. And I've had a city-ignore-everything face since I was a girl living one door down from a boys' group home or juvenile detention facility (not sure which of these it was at the time). Without air conditioning in the 70's, the adolescents had open windows and would holler whatever came to their bored (and likely traumatized) minds at passerbys.

Robert_Casotto said:
Easy.  Brother took me at 6.  By 7 on did it myself.  Really not that difficult.  Not the best area either.  But not the worst, I guess.  One of the reasons I am how I am.  For better or worse.

But, that still doesn't answer my question. How did you know when to signal for your stop and when to get off? Could you even reach the cord at 7 years old? Or was there some reason that you didn't actually need to pull the cord to request your stop?

(I'm actually curious as someone who didn't take the bus much as a kid).