I'm getting a bazooka.

The good news with Kennedy leaving is that he will likely be replaced with an N.R.A. supporter. There will then be enough N.R.A. support that all of New Jersey's repressive gun regulations will be declared in violation of the Second Amendment. 

That will mean that any Maplewood resident can buy whatever firearm they want. Also, they can open carry or carry concealed. Every Maplewood (and even S.O.) resident can pack heat. 

I'm gonna get me a bazooka. What are you gonna get?

Gracious...

Well, will that include the right to own armored vehicles? My driving skill hasn't improved since I moved from the city so I'm thinking I could use a tank to keep me nice and protected. I'll no longer fear getting behind the wheel. I'm in South Orange so I'll have to get a permit to park it on the street.

Armored Personnel Carriers are going to be the next big thing in suburban transport. First, they're high up so you can see past those pesky SUVs. Secondly, you can fit your family of 5 in there - with room to spare, quiverfull parents - and they have wheels instead of treads so you won't tear up your driveway. 

Also, with the optional reactive armor, you won't have a problem with Formerlyjerseyjack's bazooka, or if you choose slat armor you'll make it to soccer practice no matter how near the ISIS roadside bomb goes off. 

Your kids will finally be safe from all external horrors in your brand new APC, especially once you've taught little Becky how the .50 cal in the cupola works!

Sign me up.

ridski said:
Armored Personnel Carriers are going to be the next big thing in suburban transport. First, they're high up so you can see past those pesky SUVs. Secondly, you can fit your family of 5 in there - with room to spare, quiverfull parents - and they have wheels instead of treads so you won't tear up your driveway. 
Also, with the optional reactive armor, you won't have a problem with Formerlyjerseyjack's bazooka, or if you choose slat armor you'll make it to soccer practice no matter how near the ISIS roadside bomb goes off. 
Your kids will finally be safe from all external horrors in your brand new APC, especially once you've taught little Becky how the .50 cal in the cupola works!

 Do they have pluggable hybrid models?

A third of Americans think a second Civil War is in the offing and, as things stand now, our side is woefully under armed so I have my eyes on a howitzer that I can tow behind my SUV.  I am kind of into antiques so I was thinking I would pick up one of those ones they have in front of the VFW posts.

Poll: A Third of Americans Say Second Civil War Likely

Morganna said:
Well, will that include the right to own armored vehicles? My driving skill hasn't improved since I moved from the city so I'm thinking I could use a tank to keep me nice and protected. I'll no longer fear getting behind the wheel. I'm in South Orange so I'll have to get a permit to park it on the street.

 Yes, it will.  Besides what you wrote about, depending on the model you buy, you can literally crush the vehicles of those peeps on Maplewood Avenue who cut you off to make a u-turn to park... or the ones who park in the middle of Maplewood Avenue with their flashers on while they go in to pick up their pizza or Starbucks.

Think about that. You can go home with a satisfied smile on your face, knowing that you taught that entitled summ-a-bitche a lesson.

Still, I would encourage you to think about the bazooka. You can accomplish the same thing at a much lower cost. These future Supreme Court rulings will do a lot to cut down on road rage. If we take care of these problems on a local level, there will be less entitled wankers on the road to generate road rage. 

Thank you, Gropenfuhrer of the short fingers. (A.K.A., Donnie Two-scoops) You will make our roads a lot safer.

Just don't threaten to key anyone's APC. I'd hate to see anyone instigating violence.

PVW said:
Just don't threaten to key anyone's APC. I'd hate to see anyone instigating violence.

 don't even joke about it. 

PVW said:
Just don't threaten to key anyone's APC. I'd hate to see anyone instigating violence.

 That's another reason to get a bazooka instead of an A.P.C. You can't "key" a bazooka.

Formerlyjerseyjack said:

PVW said:
Just don't threaten to key anyone's APC. I'd hate to see anyone instigating violence.

 That's another reason to get a bazooka instead of an A.P.C. You can't "key" a bazooka.

 On the other hand, you can key an APC with a bazooka.

I want the gun used by The Governator, with the exploding shells.

tomcat said:
I want the gun used by The Governator, with the exploding shells.

 Not a problem. When the Orange-turdblossom gets his new NRA appointee to the S.C., you can get anything you can afford (except an abortion and a same sex marriage license.

I’ve been thinking drone. We have room to park it on the side of the house by the tomatoes. I like the Reaper, but it’s pricey at 13mil. You can pick up a used Predator for 4mil which I’m assuming I could finance. I could probably swing the pilot if he doesn’t mind walking the dog a couple times during his shift. Anybody know the hourly for those pilots?

flimbro said:
I’ve been thinking drone. We have room to park it on the side of the house by the tomatoes. I like the Reaper, but it’s pricey at 13mil. You can pick up a used Predator for 4mil which I’m assuming I could finance. I could probably swing the pilot if he doesn’t mind walking the dog a couple times during his shift. Anybody know the hourly for those pilots?

 Maybe you and I can chip in and get the used Pred.  Let me know if you are in. It will probably do a bit of damage on Maplewood Avenue but one shot and the "entitled" will get the message. It will be reported in the Ledger but probably not on Fox.

Formerlyjerseyjack said:

 Maybe you and I can chip in and get the used Pred.  Let me know if you are in. It will probably do a bit of damage on Maplewood Avenue but one shot and the "entitled" will get the message. It will be reported in the Ledger but probably not on Fox.

 It will be reported in the News-Record but not accurately.

Barrett 50 cal.  So much more accurate than a bazooka, and can stop an APC a mile away.

LOST said:

Formerlyjerseyjack said:

 Maybe you and I can chip in and get the used Pred.  Let me know if you are in. It will probably do a bit of damage on Maplewood Avenue but one shot and the "entitled" will get the message. It will be reported in the Ledger but probably not on Fox.

 It will be reported in the News-Record but not accurately.

 It'll be reported by the Maplewoodian but not this week.

ridski said:

LOST said:

Formerlyjerseyjack said:

 Maybe you and I can chip in and get the used Pred.  Let me know if you are in. It will probably do a bit of damage on Maplewood Avenue but one shot and the "entitled" will get the message. It will be reported in the Ledger but probably not on Fox.

 It will be reported in the News-Record but not accurately.

 It'll be reported by the Maplewoodian but not this week.

 It really doesn't matter as its all fake news.

Formerlyjerseyjack said:

flimbro said:
I’ve been thinking drone. We have room to park it on the side of the house by the tomatoes. I like the Reaper, but it’s pricey at 13mil. You can pick up a used Predator for 4mil which I’m assuming I could finance. I could probably swing the pilot if he doesn’t mind walking the dog a couple times during his shift. Anybody know the hourly for those pilots?

 Maybe you and I can chip in and get the used Pred.  Let me know if you are in. It will probably do a bit of damage on Maplewood Avenue but one shot and the "entitled" will get the message. It will be reported in the Ledger but probably not on Fox.

 Ok. I'm in. Think you can add it to a homeowners policy?  We got to move fast though. There's some chef posting up above that lives up on the mountain with a 50 cal and he's talking smack about your bazooka and looking real hard at APCs. He's got us on the vantage point so it might be a good time to brush him back a taste.

I've always thought heat-seeking missiles are neat.

If Murphy legalizes recreational marijuana, maybe we can carry and smoke at the same time?

Merikuh!!

?Tom?   

joanne said:
?Tom?   

 In another thread you decried the death of satire.

I really was laughing, but found it a tad scary that Tom would joke of such things

(When I read the thread aloud to D, he was laugh-crying and nearly falling off the sofa)

(In my neck of the woods we've just had a man arrested for chopping up a 16yr old and driving around with her body in a barrel in his van. And male Senators call female Senators vile slurs  in Parliament and then in the media. And ageing TV 'stars' joke about paedophilia during an award ceremony, after a football commentator joked obscenely about his mate's wife's labour pains - I need your humour!) 

yahooyahoo said:
If Murphy legalizes recreational marijuana, maybe we can carry and smoke at the same time?
Merikuh!!

 Consider it legal.

joanne said:
I really was laughing, but found it a tad scary that Tom would joke of such things
(When I read the thread aloud to D, he was laugh-crying and nearly falling off the sofa)
(In my neck of the woods we've just had a man arrested for chopping up a 16yr old and driving around with her body in a barrel in his van. And male Senators call female Senators vile slurs  in Parliament and then in the media. And ageing TV 'stars' joke about paedophilia during an award ceremony, after a football commentator joked obscenely about his mate's wife's labour pains - I need your humour!) 

 Just a little something I'm looking at to transport cats to adoption events. Don't fret joanne, it will look much softer when I airbrush it with kittens, rainbows and unicorns.

Morganna said:

joanne said:
I really was laughing, but found it a tad scary that Tom would joke of such things
(When I read the thread aloud to D, he was laugh-crying and nearly falling off the sofa)
(In my neck of the woods we've just had a man arrested for chopping up a 16yr old and driving around with her body in a barrel in his van. And male Senators call female Senators vile slurs  in Parliament and then in the media. And ageing TV 'stars' joke about paedophilia during an award ceremony, after a football commentator joked obscenely about his mate's wife's labour pains - I need your humour!) 

 Just a little something I'm looking at to transport cats to adoption events. Don't fret joanne, it will look much softer when I airbrush it with kittens, rainbows and unicorns.

jimmurphy said:

yahooyahoo said:
If Murphy legalizes recreational marijuana, maybe we can carry and smoke at the same time?
Merikuh!!

 Consider it legal.

 Any relation to Phil Murphy?