Help With Difficult Neighbors Problem!

I'd like to get some thoughts on how best to handle an unpleasant situation. A few unsavory teens live in a house behind us where we've never seen an adult in the year that we've lived here. They and their friends cut through our yard all the time, dropping garbage and leaving clouds of pot smoke in their wake. We put up a fence (not because of these dip shiits, but figured it'd be a nice bonus). Lately we've been finding empty pizza boxes, liquor bottles, cigar wrappers, etc. behind our garage (in the small space of our yard between the fence and our garage). So they're either coming into our fenced yard to party behind our garage or just tossing their garbage over the fence into our yard.

I've confronted a few of them before, giving the benefit of the doubt and just making it plain that this is not what we'd like to continue to see. But it's like talking to a tree.

I'd of course rather not involve the police, but there are literally no adults there. I don't care about weed and I was a teen not terribly long ago, but jesus, it's just the audacious stupidity of these guys that just really upsets me.

Suggestions???

If you notify the police, there will be a continuing record (added to that of your neighbors) of all the infractions and having that kind of history will give the police an opportunity to remedy the situation. It's nice to be forgiving, but trespassing is a crime and you have the absolute right to the peaceful enjoyment of your home/property. Good luck!

Call the police and don't feel guilty about it. They have an obligation to be good neighbors, or understand the consequences. You have tried to engage and been way more tolerant than most. Enough is enough. Being a teen is not a hall pass to bad behavior, as it will only lead to the creation of an a$$hat adult.

If at all possible I would suggest documenting the behavior with photos (ideally taken without them seeing you of course). Then I would contact the police and show them the photographic evidence. If you have directly asked them to stop and they refused then I would certainly contact the police.

Calling the police is doing the right thing. If they are teens being left alone all the time it could be a bad situation for them. Call the authorities.

Also, take the garbage they throw into your yard and either throw it back, or drop it on their front stoop. Or bag it, ring the doorbell and hand it to whoever answers.

Also, I would consider stopping by, either very early in the morning or late in the evening, ringing the doorbell and if an adult answers, explain that neighbors have informed you that they have seen teens in your yard , smoking pot and leaving garbage and the neighbors will be calling the police in the future. You are just giving them a heads up because in case it is the kids living here, you don't want them to get into trouble. Or , you could write a note to that effect and leave it in their mailbox.

are these adult teens -- 18 +?

Are they unsupervised minors?

Put up a camera and document their behavior.

Scottbrian said:
Separately, a few of our neighbors have called the police in the past (without our knowing it) because, you know, tall black man skulking out from behind the house of young white couple with small child.

Who is the man? The Father?

Maybe if you don't want a patrol car at your house, making it obvious that you called them, go to the police station to discuss and get advice.

I think the camera might be a good idea, for documentation.

If this is a rental property, I wonder if you can take action against the landlord (at a minimum, notify the landlord and proceed from there).

Klinker said:

Scottbrian said:
Separately, a few of our neighbors have called the police in the past (without our knowing it) because, you know, tall black man skulking out from behind the house of young white couple with small child.

Who is the man? The Father?

One of the kids. That was how it was conveyed to the police unbeknownst to us. It was later explained that it was probably just the neighbors.

Anyway, I deleted this section because I can see how it could be misconstrued. Sarcasm doesn't always translate in an open forum.

Formerlyjerseyjack said:
are these adult teens -- 18 +?


Are they unsupervised minors?

That's a question we've thought about. High school age I think because I've bumped into a few them early in the morning.

sarahzm said:

Also, take the garbage they throw into your yard and either throw it back, or drop it on their front stoop.

Do NOT do this. If you want to ring the bell and hand it to them, that's one thing. But DO NOT just dump it on their property. They can just as easily take a photo of you doing it and claim you're dumping on their property. Plus it's petty. It's easier to put it in the trash than drop it on their stoop.

Could these be college kids renting the property behind you?

As an alternative to calling the police, if this is a rental you could contact Maplewood town hall for them to investigate. Reflecting on some of the comments above, it is possible that whoever is living there might be in violation of some of the township's rental ordinances. For example, rental properties are required to be registered and inspected by the township. I believe there are also provisos that limit the odds that it is a college student rental.

I find it disturbing that there seem to be no adults living there and supervising the teens.

(To put a more positive spin on things--it doesn't take long for teens grow up and leave nest. If they were 10 year olds doing the same thing they might be around for another 8 to 10 years! Teens that used to cut through our neighbor's yard and behind our garage only did it for a year or two and then disappeared, hopefully to college.)

ETA--Good luck.

Not sure why calling the police is such a negative, and something to be avoided. They're not going to go in with guns blazing and put everyone in jail. Likely they'll issue a warning, and state what might happen if another report causes them to have to return. Seems pretty reasonable as the OP has already approached the people, and they basically ignored him.

kmk said:
Put up a camera and document their behavior.

I like this idea. Mine was to add motion-sensing floodlights, but I have cameras also - it's a nice combination.

apple44 said:
Not sure why calling the police is such a negative, and something to be avoided. They're not going to go in with guns blazing and put everyone in jail. Likely they'll issue a warning, and state what might happen if another report causes them to have to return. Seems pretty reasonable as the OP has already approached the people, and they basically ignored him.

I think the concern is about potential retaliation. It's a matter of contacting the police in a way that does not make it obvious exactly who contacted them rather than a fear of being too hard on the teens.

I contacted the police (quite openly and publicly) about bad teen behavior in our neighborhood once (many years ago). The next day, 2 tires were slashed on my car and several other cars on my block. We'll never know who did it, but I felt pretty certain it was a retaliatory move.

I won't forget the site of an army of tow trucks on our block that morning! Oy.

A camera? I'm not spending money on these goofballs. I actually just ran into the one I know lives there (high school age). I tried my best to have a man to man conversation with him, saying this has to stop. He denied it was him (of course), but admitted it might be his friends and that he'd talk to them.

I appreciate everyone's thoughts. I really was curious to get the MOL herd's suggestions, so now I feel like I have some context in other reactions.

Scottbrian said:
A camera? I'm not spending money on these goofballs. I actually just ran into the one I know lives there (high school age). I tried my best to have a man to man conversation with him, saying this has to stop. He denied it was him (of course), but admitted it might be his friends and that he'd talk to them.
I appreciate everyone's thoughts. I really was curious to get the MOL herd's suggestions, so now I feel like I have some context in other reactions.

Good for you. I hope it works. Good luck.

If I bumped into the kid that lived there, I would ask who the adult in the household is. I would ask for the person's name and phone number. Then I would tell him that the next time you find any trash on your lawn that belongs to them, or any evidence that they are using your property to hang out, you will call the adult in charge. If it happens after that, I will call the police, and I would rather not get to that point. I might put up a handmade No Trespassing sign but that's easy for my family, my husband is a cartoonist, and the sign would be really, really funny with zombie teens as characters.

By the way, we never told the people who live next to us that when they were away, their kids had a party, and someone that night took a key and scratched a long line across our brand new VW bug. It broke my husband's heart. My husband never told the neighbor kid or his parents. Since the kid has since started and finished college, and is working on Wall Street, do you think we can hand him a bill for the damage?

Agree that a call to the police is the way to go. They won't give your name if you ask them not to!

Or maybe...

My son is currently living in Berlin. He told me that when one runs from transit police for not paying fare, they don't chase them. When a complaint is filed on a loud party, the police don't come out, but visit the next day and chat or ticket the house. Their society has made a conscious policy decision and realize that involving the police may sometimes cause more problems than not.

My point is that we love to involve the police at every turn in this country. Yes, I know the neighbors are a problem, but we should think before always involving the police.

Install a light with a motion detector on the back of your shed. Should never go on unless someone is going back there to eat pizza, drink booze and smoke cigars.

If they are under 18, call DYFS--or whatever they are called nowadays. How about a cheap fake camera with a red light or even without a light...you might be able to get a broken one off someone for free!

You have to be concerned that any time you confront them, the behavior will just become more oppositional.

Ironic that the most level-headed poster is the OP. I think the message they need to get is, "I'm not a prude, but don't be such d***s. Have a good time, but be respectful."

Calling the police or children's services is not always a negative action. That said, I would probably want to ask around a bit - children their age you may know, neighbors on their own street who may know the family, etc. - before taking such action.

If you are uncertain as to whether these teens have a responsible adult living with them in their home, befriending the teens may be the quickest and easiest way of finding out. If it turns out that there are unemancipated teens living in that house without adult supervision/support, bringing in the authorities may be the best way of helping them.

dave23 said:
Ironic that the most level-headed poster is the OP. I think the message they need to get is, "I'm not a prude, but don't be such d***s. Have a good time, but be respectful."

To be fair, the OP said he'd tried this approach and found it was like "talking to a tree". I certainly applaud him for trying again and I hope it works.

Call the police. It seems messed up, but it's the only way they'll get the picture. It's the same thing across the street from my parents - A house that for maybe a year the newlywed parents were there, but for some reason seemed to have left the house to the kids ( I guess the fathers teenage kids from a previous relationship?) They would have loud parties into the night and constantly ride their dirt bikes and ATV's up and down the street. When the police come they stop. The police go directly to the house and confront them about it.